For almost a quarter of a century, getting through 21st December had been a difficult task. To cope with it, I deliberately kept myself busy. This was the day I lost my bulwark! The one person who allowed me to be what I am went out of my life, and for many years after that, it became a conscious exercise not to instinctively look for him to share my joys and achievements with, because he was no longer there.
Unlike many fathers, he never really encouraged, or discouraged me. He was that one constant, dependable presence who would be the fallback in case my mad escapades with career choices or hobbies wouldn’t work out. Thankfully they usually did, so I didn’t really have to be dissuaded from much. The emphatic NO was something I do not remember experiencing, because of the clearly defined boundaries.
The suddenness of his departure was the real reason of difficulty of dealing with December 21, until years later, another influential person helped to divert the thoughts because of the happiness associated with him and this date. My father’s death anniversary coincided with Little Master Hanif Mohammad’s birthday, which always merited a celebration.
He and his gracious family would always invite my children and me to the celebrations and despite the mind drifting all day to Dec.21 of 1990, the evening would be filled with laughter, music and celebration.
Today is the first December 21 that he too is not there, so i guess the day must be of mixed emotions for his family too.
Guess that is what life is all about.You move on.. memories remain.
